GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE (2024)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *good*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, sociological*

When I reviewed GODZILLA VS. KONG, I remarked that I wouldn't have minded if the series ended there. To my surprise, EMPIRE is actually better, even though the conflict no longer focuses upon a "Clash of Franchise-Titans."

Two broad improvements: fewer inconsequential humans and more development of the Monsterverse. The 2021 film was all about establishing the boundaries of the Titans with regard to each other and to the human population. EMPIRE is about the formation of new societies out of the legacies of old ones. One will find no similar tropes in either the 1954 GODZILLA or the 1933 KONG. The first is about an apocalyptic beast  who almost devastates ordered society thanks to having assimilated the power of humanity's most apocalyptic weapon. The second is about the last vestiges of a primeval world surviving on the periphery of the civilized one, with the one doomed to die upon encountering the other. 

The medium for continuing an ancient legacy is EMPIRE's crossbreeding of GODZILLA '54's concept of a monster-filled under-earth with an even older sci-fi idea of the "primeval super-science culture." The 2021 movie fairly broadcast the likelihood that Kong would not truly be the last of his kind, so the revelation of a tribe of semi-intelligent giant apes in the Hollow Earth comes as no surprise. But the EMPIRE script-- which shares only one of the writers from 2021-- doubles down on the Big Reveals, for the under-earth also plays host to a tribe of telepaths with some sort of crystal-technology. 

Given their links to the moth-Titan Mothra, this vaguely Polynesian-looking tribe shares some literary genetics with the primitives of Infant Island in the Tohoverse. But the Hollow-Earth natives turn out to be distant relatives of the Iwe, the human occupants of Skull Island. The 2021 KONG wiped out the Iwe, except for sole survivor Jia (Kaylee Hottle), who was adopted by Titan-exert Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall). Jia's only significance is that she shares a psychic rapport with Kong in that they're both the only intelligent survivors of Skull Island. EMPIRE's script is far from subtle in showing the loneliness of both Kong and Jia, deprived of a society of common heritage. But at least Jia becomes a bit more sympathetic this time out, though of course the audience's main concern is for Kong. 

The natives initiate the action, sending forth a distress signal. This draws a exploratory team of humans to investigate, consisting of Ilene, Jia, comic-relief blogger Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry), and a new character, "monster-doctor" Trapper (Dan Stevens)-- oh, and a redshirt who gets killed early on. Godzilla also seems to sense something in the offing, since he devours a French nuclear plant to empower himself. Upon meeting with the proto-Iwe, the explorers learn that eons ago Godzilla confined the ancestors of the ape-tribe to Hollow-Earth, much as Kong self-exiled to that world to avoid trespassing on Godzilla's territory. Now the scurrilous simians, led by the malignant Skar King, have found a new access to the surface world, which they plan to conquer once more-- in part thanks to their having enslaved a dragon-like Titan that can breathe freezing gas. The only thing that can stop the rebellion of those damn, dirty apes is an alliance between Kong and Godzilla, and that's only possible if Jia can mind-meld with Mothra to broker a peace between the rival monsters.

To be sure, the main virtue of EMPIRE is that  returning director Adam Wingard and his FX team sell the audience on an endless series of battles between quarrelsome colossi (including a mini-Kong who has an occasional nasty edge, so that he's not repugnantly cute). But I like the fact that the script gives us a Hollow-Earth reflecting the two main phrases of the "lost world" trope: one where the lost world is inhabited by degenerate brutes, the other, by shining, though still fallible, angels in human form. 

Jia and Ilene are still flat characters, but this time the script gives them one interesting bit of business: Ilene fearing that her adoptive daughter will immediately run off to join her eons-old kindred. But Bernie and Trapper get all the clever lines because they're not confined to performing simple plot-functions. If there's a third film in the series, maybe the writers will manage to jettison all of the dullards.

THE REBEL BOXER (1972)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

This chopsocky is currently streaming with the title SA MU CHEN, which is the name of the heroine essayed by star Nancy Yen. Since that title isn't very catchy I'm substituting one of the English alternative titles, even though the "boxer" here is more a revenger than a rebel.

BOXER is a shot-back-to-back sequel to another film, FURIOUS SLAUGHTER, about a fellow named Yung, a folk-hero who opposes an evil band of criminals, the Axe Gang. (One guess as to the miscreants' favorite weapon.) At the end of SLAUGHTER, Yung is blinded by lye and killed. BOXER claims that he didn't get killed but went into hiding, though he still has to recover from the blinding. Miss Ma, Yung's sister, hears about Yung's supposed death and investigates, though her main profession is that of a doctor and her proficiency in martial arts is not explained (though possibly her brother taught her). The Axe Gang not only traps Ma, they lure forth her brother (played here by Jimmy Wang Yu). After lots of fighting, Ma devastates the Axe Gang, though her brother dies anyway.

This is one of the most straightforward chopsockies I've ever seen, with no side-characters and only one bit of comic byplay, wherein a nasty gangster tries to get lady doctor Ma to examine his nether regions. From what I can tell BOXER was one of Nancy Yen's first starring roles, though I know the actress only for support-cast performances. She handles the close-up, non-doubled fight-scenes quite well, and does nicely with one or two scenes in which she has to emote about her missing brother. Still, if the producers hoped to mold Yen into another kung-fu diva, BOXER was probably too mild a concoction to impress the HK audiences.

The Axe Gang enlists two outsiders to help fight Ma, one a swordsman and the other a monk with a peculiar but non-uncanny weapon: a short staff he uses as a club, with a human skull mounted on the end. The only uncanny weapons here are the chosen weapons of the Gang. There would be nothing weird if the villains simply carried around ordinary axes, as seen in depictions of Tong wars. But most of the gang use axes that are attached to the end of long chains, which they even use to "net" Ma in the scene shown above. I find it unlikely that any professional gang ever made use of axes on chains, which seem only a little less impractical than flying guillotines.

CAMELOT THE LEGEND (1998)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

Since I haven't reviewed any animated Arthurian stories except 1998's QUEST FOR CAMELOT, I decided to check out LEGEND, a low-budget quickie ground out the same year, allegedly to coast on QUEST's non-existent success. I don't doubt that this was the main motive for the movie's raison d'etre, but I will note that, even though LEGEND is a stupid story, it doesn't swipe anything from QUEST.

Quick setup: Arthur's son Modred has grown to manhood (and knighthood), and he plots against his kingly father, recently married to Queen Guinevere. Merlin can't do anything about Modred, since Arthur wants to believe his son loyal, but the wizard does imprison Modred's hoggish mother Morgan by magically sealing her in a cave for the past 20 years. The French knight Lancelot saves Arthur and Guinevere from a kidnap attempt masterminded by Modred, and though Lancelot doesn't say anything about wanting to serve Arthur, Arthur asks the Frenchman to join his retinue. But Lancelot's presence gives the evildoers a new angle to ruin Arthur's reign.

Despite the seriousness of the "Fall of Camelot" theme, this is a comedy, with dopey jokes, pratfalls (bo-oing!) and a couple of bad songs. The only halfway memorable "joke" is the image of Porky Morgan sitting around her cave watching the outside world via "sword-vision"-- that is, a magic sword that can broadcast images of current happenings on the wall of the cave. Morgan tries to expose both Lancelot and Guinevere to a love potion, but she messes up the scheme. By dumb luck Modred gets another chance to abduct the queen and brings her to Morgan's redoubt. Lancelot and Merlin dope things out and rescue Guinevere with a scheme that involves Merlin dressing up like a woman.

There are various low-energy "fights" that are clearly meant not to excite toddler-audiences. Lancelot duels a couple of ruffians in bloodless fashion, preferring to use his fists, and he even teaches Guinevere some elementary sword-tricks. Merlin and Morgan have a short "changing forms" fight a la THE SWORD IN THE STONE. Though Guinevere is liberated, Arthur gets the wrong idea seeing her in Lancelot's company. Modred tries to rouse other knights to deem Guinevere guilty of treason, as per the standard "Fall of Camelot" schema. But somehow Arthur and Guinevere "sing it out," and Camelot never falls at all.

I know that there are many worse cartoons than this one, but this one will do until a lousier one comes along.

DRAGONBALL Z: RESURRECTION "F" (2015)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

RESURRECTION "F" is the direct sequel to BATTLE OF GODS, which launched a new series of animated DRAGONBALL feature films in the 2010s. However, whereas BATTLE premiered the new characters of the destroyer-god Lord Beerus and his majordomo Whis, RESURRECTION is a stale retread in which once more Goku and his fellow Saiyan Vegeta contend with an old enemy. But since this was another script by the franchise's creator Akira Toriyama, I suppose he had the right to coast if anyone did.

The evil alien overlord Frieza has been dead for some time, tormented in a Japanese hell where he has to listen to fuzzy bunnies singing happy songs. However, some of Frieza's former army, headed by Commander Sorbet, desire to revive their old boss. They collect all seven dragonballs and summon the wish-dragon Shenron, who revives Frieza even though he's been cut into pieces. We don't see a bunch of animated body parts flopping about, though, because Sorbet has a handy-dandy organic integrator lying around, Soon Frieza is strutting around, killing off subordinates whenever he feels like it and nurturing a grudge against Goku and all the allies who vanquished the evildoer in past.

As is often the case, Goku and Vegeta, competitive with one another as always, have journeyed to Beerus' world to train with majordomo Whis. He makes some observations about the mental failings of both Saiyans, and Beerus, waking up cranky, reminds the heroes that the only reason he spared Earth was because he enjoyed the food there. 

One good thing about the Saiyans' absence: when Freiza's troops attack Earth, many of the heroic support-cast get to kick butt, which often does not occur in the animated films. But none of the support characters can handle ultra-powered Frieza himself, so Bulma is able to summon Goku and Vegeta to save the day,

And so, the heroes take turns fighting Frieza, while their friends watch anxiously and the two deity-types chow down on Earth food. As usual, the villain of the show has some secret technique to up his game, and the heroes have to up their game in turn. After Goku wins, his reluctance to take his ruthless enemy's life allows Frieza to destroy Earth. Fortunately, Whis just happens to have mentioned he has the power to reset time about three minutes back, and so Goku gets a do-over.

Aside from giving the support cast more props, there's a little bit of diffident camraderie sustained between the two Saiyans, but none of it is germane to the simplistic plot.

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK: APOCALYPSE WAR (2020)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological*

In practice, FINAL CRISIS merely proves the rule about mega-crossovers: with great numbers of powerhouses come diminishing returns. I'm not one of those fans who insists that the "story" is no good unless it's heavily plotted. By its nature, the mega-crossover has the structure of a vaudeville show, where each performer comes out and does his/her thing before being quickly followed by someone else.-- FINALLY, CRISIS.

The title is a misnomer in one sense: WAR is not a story solely about the subcategory of "weirdie Justice Leaguers" like 2017's JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK. Several of the "JLD" members-- John Constantine, Zatanna, The Demon, and Swamp Thing-- have key roles in WAR's plot. But they're no more important than regular League characters like Superman and Batman, Teen Titans like Raven and the "Damian Wayne" version of Robin, and such Suicide Squad luminaries as Harley Quinn, Captain Boomerang and King Shark. In other words, this is an "event" story like at least two of the comics-sources on which it's based, the aforementioned FINAL CRISIS and 2015's DARKSEID WAR. But because this WAR is a 90-minute DTV film, its "mega-crossover" has to have all of its "vaudeville performers" do their turns pretty rapidly.

The movie is also the sixteenth and last film to be issues under the umbrella of "DC Animated Movie Universe," which in the last few years has been superseded by the "Tomorrowverse" line. In this sense, it would be appropriate to use the term "dark," since WAR is the "twilight of the franchise." It's also appropriate in that the DTV's tone is far darker than any of its influences, for the story, unlike its comics-influences, is structured like a war movie. 

The main body of the film takes place after the Justice League has tried and failed to prevent an incursion by Apokolips-lord Darkseid. Both Cyborg and the (Barry Allen) Flash have disappeared and are thought dead, though they're later revealed to have been forced into ugly forms of servitude on Apokolips. Other heroes have been turned into slave-warriors, like Wonder Woman and Starfire. Superman has lost much of his power after Darkseid's tech-masters created a species of soldier with Kryptonian DNA, and Batman has been turned into one of Darkseid's coordinators, with Lex Luthor as his flunky. Zatanna, lover to John Constantine, has died and Constantine is thought to have fled the fight in cowardice (though this isn't the whole truth). And some problems simply continue from earlier continuity, as with the Teen Titan Raven, who constantly struggles not to release her demon-father Trigon from his prison inside her body.

All of this "disaster opera" (my term) sounds a lot like not only the standard tumults seen in comics crossovers but also like two or three of the DCAMU productions, such as the odious JUSTICE LEAGUE: THE FLASHPOINT PARADOX. But happily, the two directors and two credited writers-- whose resumes all include an ample supply of both hits and misses-- rose to the occasion. The script for WAR allows for far more humanity and humor than I've ever seen in any other DCAMU effort. Possibly the tight run-time and the big cast worked to the writers' advantage, so that things like the romantic arc between Raven and Damian are kept short and to the point. That said, the script manages to work in one reference to an earlier DCAMU film, wherein brainwashed-Batman verbally castigates his son by talking about the events of BATMAN: BAD BLOOD. However, I should mention that many of the disasters on display here are somewhat mitigated by an ending which suggests that this "Disastrous Cosmos" may get a do-over. 

As for humor, I will mention only (1) a ring-match between combatants Lois Lane and Harley Quinn, and (2) a shouting match between Brit Constantine and Aussie Captain Boomerang that ends with them both using the "w word" for one another.

If I had to make a criticism, I could have done without Trigon, a boring villain, who naturally wins free and possesses one of the heroes. But even he has a pretty good fight with fellow mega-villain Darkseid. Some of the outstanding voice-acting include Matt Ryan as Constantine, Rebecca Romijn as Lois Lane, and Hynden Walsh as Harley Quinn. I only wish the majority of the JUSTICE LEAGUE animated films had been half this good.

XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS: SEASON FIVE (1999-2000)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, metaphysical, psychological, sociological*

For the whole season, Xena and Gabrielle remain dead and Joxer becomes the new star. Or maybe not. OK, they both come back to life and somehow Xena gets pregnant, because Lucy Lawless had become pregnant back during Season Four. This meant that Season 5 saddled O'Connor's Gabrielle with most of the action scenes, and Lawless's Xena spends most of her time covered up by heavy clothes or appliances.

FALLEN ANGEL (F)-- The spirits of the two heroines go to heaven, but promptly become bones of contention between the angels and demons. In fact, most of the episode consists of either Xena or Gabrielle shuttling back and forth between Perdition and Paradise, while back on Earth their mourners, Joxer and Amarice, seek to take the crusaders' bodies back to Xena's hometown. There are only two scenes of mythic substance in the episode. First, when Angel-Xena struggles with a demonic version of Callisto, Xena decides to use her spirit-power to redeem Callisto's soul from her obsessive evil, and succeeds, though Xena herself becomes a demon. Second, after all the otherworldly transformations run their gamut, Eli pulls a Lazarus, reviving the bodies of X and G with their spirits once more intact. Though Eli was seen performing other magical acts, this is the only one that's a definite Imitatio Christi.

CHAKRAM (F)-- There's a twist to Xena's resurrection: she forgets all of her experiences as a warrior, becoming something of a goody-good milquetoast. Also, Xena's Chakram was broken by Callisto in THE IDES OF MARCH, and it can only be repaired by a complicated process, while both Ares and a rival war-god, Kal, seek to obtain the weapon for their own benefit. Inevitably Xena regains both her weapon and her full memories, while from somewhere Gabrielle acquires a pair of sai-knives. These apparently symbolize her decision to become a full-time warrior-companion to her BFF. Eli departs once more, but presumably spends more time building up his peace-and-love movement, given later events. Also, Joxer confesses his love to Gabrielle, while she puts off making any response.

SUCCESSION (F)-- Though Ares seems to have mostly given up on re-recruiting Xena, an intense warrior-woman named Mavican (Jenya Lano) stumps for the job of the war-god's new emissary on Earth. When she challenges both Xena and Gabrielle, Ares flings all three of them into another dimension to fight it out. The rules of the game are pretty clever.

ANIMAL ATTRACTION (F)-- High Plains Warrior Princess! The action takes place in a town called Spamona, which one might assume is in North Greece, since the very next story has the cast hike all the way back to the territory of the Siberian Amazons. Anyway, everyone in Spamona wears cowboy hats and dusters, so that Xena and Gabrielle-- who have picked up Joxer and Amarice again at some point-- stand out a bit, even though Xena volunteers to protect the town from yet another warlord-horde. Also, Gabrielle makes friends with a new horse, and is seen riding out of town on it at the end, though the new mount is only irregularly seen from then on. Amarice gets an "animal attraction" for a young stud, but the big news is that Xena's pregnant-- and to the best of her knowledge, there's no way that could have happened.

THEM BONES, THEM BONES (F)-- Xena begins to experience bad symptoms from her pregnancy, and the eventual diagnosis is that the spirit of the slain villain Alti is seeking to possess the heroine's unborn child. So the two heroines, Amarice and Joxer hoof it to Siberia for the help of the Amazon shamans. If only because it's shorter, this is a much better shaman-outing than ADVENTURES IN THE SIN TRADE, though it's still rather derivative. Amarice stands revealed as a pretender to Amazon status, and she stays behind to join the Siberian tribe.

PURITY/ BACK IN THE BOTTLE (G)-- These two strongly related episodes send the heroines back to Chin, this time with Joxer in tow. Xena learns that there's a secret book of magical/martial techniques left behind by her late, cherished mentor Lao Ma, and her two surviving children both want the book. But Kao Hsin wants to keep the book's secrets away from evildoers, while Pao Ssu wants to share the secrets with her warlord friends-- who also seek the secret of gunpowder to begin a wave of conquest. Pao Ssu perishes in the first episode, and then comes back merged with Xena's no-less-dead enemy Ming Tien. (The merger is probably a tip of the hat to the 1993 BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR.) Xena, who wielded supernatural power in THE DEBT thanks to Lao Ma's tutelage, steps up her mystical game to defeat a teeming army. A few lines from Lao Ma's book sound like Schopenhauer, an alleged favorite of Rob Tapert.

LITTLE PROBLEMS (P)-- Thanks to yet another goofup by ditzy Aphrodite, Xena's spirit becomes lodged in the body of a little girl, Daphne, who has problems communicating with her daddy. There's a forgettable warlord in a Doctor Doom mask to provide peril. The only memorable schtick involves Gabrielle and Aphrodite masquerading as conjoined twins to have an oil-wrestling match with another pair of such twins, Castor and Pollux.

SEEDS OF FAITH (G)-- Despite the fact that the writers don't build up to the revelation, it seems that Ares and the other Olympians fear a "twilight of the gods," when they will be replaced by other forms of worship, presumably the real-life religion that Eli represents. Ares plans to send an army of soldiers to slay Eli, and Eli begs Xena and Gabrielle to stay out of the matter. The angel Callisto informs that Eli's sacrifice alone can cause the Olympians' downfall-- and just for a topper, asserts that she's the one who created Xena's immaculate pregnancy so that she could become reincarnated in the burgeoning infant. Xena decides she's OK with all this, and that's the last appearance for Hudson Leick on the show. Eli dies but clearly has a supernatural survival that betokens the rise of his religion of peace.

LYRE, LYRE, HEARTS ON FIRE (P)-- All the good credit the show earned from THE BITTER SUITE is largely wiped from the slate by this musical mishmash. Xena and Gabrielle insist that two claimants to a mystic lyre should fight things out in a battle of the bands: one band led by a tribe of Amazons, the other a group of raiders led by Draco, still in love with Gabrielle since A COMEDY OF EROS. There are a few amusing scenes, such as Gabrielle getting a little jelly when another woman makes moves on Joxer. Less successful is a heavy-handed lecture about tolerance, as Joxer is shown to be embarrassed by his flamboyant brother Jase (also Raimi). Since the writers wanted Joxer to remain sympathetic, his discomfort never rises to the level of homophobia. 

PUNCH LINES (P)-- Call this "Adventures in the Shrink Trade," as the gloomy god Lachrymose subjects Gabrielle and Argo to a "reduction derby." Amid all the lame humor, including an old-style pie fight, Xena has some decent dialogue worrying about her fitness to be a mother.

GOD FEARING CHILD (P)-- Unlike the comedy episodes, the writers clearly meant this opus to be deep and meaningful, but failed due to an overall meretricious outlook. The Fates decree to Zeus and Hera that the Olympian gods are doomed by the rise of a child not born of man, so Zeus sets his sights on Xena's daughter. Hercules shows up and seeks to intercede with his godly father, but to no avail.

For some dubious reason Xena decides she and Gabrielle must journey to Tartarus to steal Hades' cap of invisibility, even though the baby will be stillborn if birthed in the underworld. X and G have various adventures, including once more encountering the shade of Solan, but the main thrust of the story belongs to Hercules. His stepmother Hera switches sides for no good reason and guides Hercules to a graveyard where the hero can fashion a weapon from one of the ribs of Kronos. (One HERCULES show claimed that Kronos was in Tartarus, so how'd he get there without his ribs?) Zeus punishes Hera by absorbing her, but Hercules fulfills his destiny by killing his own father with a rib-weapon--the TV hero's last act, since the HERCULES series had ended. The heroines win free of Tartarus in time for Xena to bear her immaculate progeny, whom she decides to name "Eve" for no reason. The writers were presumably trying to go for some symbolic link between the ribs of Kronos and the Adamic rib from which the Biblical Eve was created, but it's a clumsy juxtaposition.

ETERNAL BONDS (F)-- The surviving gods mount a campaign to slay Xena's newborn child, attacking both with their own godly forces and with human servitors. (Three such servitors appear before Xena and Gabrielle, offering gifts, but this Magi-imposture is just a trick.) Joxer is wounded by a poisoned blade from a priest of Artemis (Apollo would've been more appropriate), so Gabrielle must take him to get a cure. This errand frees up Xena, traveling covertly with Eve, to encounter Ares once again. The war-god is now convinced that the Olympians are doomed (Eve oddly taking the place of the previous gods'-bane, Dahak) so he wants Xena to bear his child. For the first time since the series' beginning, Xena is visibly tempted by her buried erotic feelings for Ares, but she rejects his bargain and re-united with her friends, escaping the gods once more.

AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE (P)-- This is just another "city under siege" story. Joxer wanders off somewhere else while Xena, Gabrielle and Xena's newborn proceed to her home town. Xena's mother gets a chance to play grandma and Ares renews his offer of salvation when the other gods descend to invade the city. The one virtue of the dull story is a moment when Ares KNOWS that Xena makes a bargain with him as a means of playing him, but he can't resist letting her have her way.

MARRIED WITH FISHSTICKS (P)-- Here's one last silly-pants episode before Season Five concludes on a lot of heavy-themed stories. The heroines witness two petulant goddesses, Aphrodite and Discord, dueling with lightning-bolts, and a wayward blast tosses Gabrielle into the sea. Gabrielle then dreams most of the rest of the episode, which is a revised version of the Goldie Hawn movie OVERBOARD, sans the big romantic hookup with the male lead (Ted Raimi again). Lots of makeup and monsters make this one mildly palatable.

LIFEBLOOD (F)-- For an episode that recycles footage from a failed pilot called AMAZON HIGH (about a 20th-century woman joining a primeval Amazon tribe), this story works out better than expected. The heroines seek out the Northern Amazon tribe (which I didn't think was homologous with the ones who made Gabby their queen, but whatever). Both the head Amazon Yakut and the long-unseen Amarice have died, and the tribe plans a mission of vengeance. Xena gets visions that link her to the primeval Amazons, and this helps her avert senseless killing.

KINDRED SPIRITS (F)-- This is a largely comic episode but it's not completely silly. Joxer finds his way to the Northern Amazon tribe but he peeps on some of the nubile wenches at their ablutions. Gabrielle, installed as temporary chieftain, must find some way to keep Joxer from being executed for his offense without violating Amazon tradition. An Amazon named Rhea, who's not seen many men before, visits the captive male with the idea of siring a child by him, but it's just infant-envy at work. A big ring-fight between Xena and Joxer, spiced with spoofs of pro-wrestling, is more memorable than most Xena-japes, particularly since Xena finally loses her damn pregnancy concealing coat.

ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA (P)-- This episode serves largely to set up Xena becoming an ally of Octavius, one of the major players vying with Brutus and Marc Antony for Roman power. An assassin sent by Brutus slays Cleopatra, so Xena poses as the Egyptian queen and seeks to run rings around the Romans. Xena makes love to Marc Antony but ends up killing him, while Gabrielle offs Brutus. Just can't trust them Romans.

LOOKING DEATH IN THE EYE (F)-- The fate of Xena and Gabrielle, seeking to protect Eve from the gods, is related in piecemeal fashion via a frame-story which takes place 25 years in the future, related by an aged Joxer (now married to Xena-lookalike Meg and possessed of a strapping young son who looks like neither parent). Xena arranges a massive hoax that involves kidnapping the death-goddess Celesta (last seen in DEATH IN CHAINS). Xena fakes the deaths of herself, Eve and Gabrielle, so that neither Ares nor Joxer knows the truth, though Octavius takes custody of Eve. But because Ares believes the heroines are dead, he enshrines their comatose bodies in an Arctic ice-cave.

LIVIA (G)-- X and G escape their icy confinement, find out that 25 years have passed, and seek out Joxer the Aged. They meet both wife Meg and son Virgil, who's become a proficient warrior after being raised on a diet of Joxer's stories of his glorious actions. Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer and Virgil go to Rome to demand an accounting from Octavius as to the disposition of Xena's daughter. 

But-- never trust a Roman! Octavius renamed Eve "Livia" (note the slight name-resemblance) and raised her as a warrior-woman who devotes herself to gladiatorial games and persecuting the still-extant followers of Christ-like Eli. (To be sure, since Livia shared the "blood" of both Xena and Callisto, Octavius may not have much of a choice.) Octavius eventually tells Xena that he's in love with his adoptive daughter and plans to marry her. But that enormity doesn't frost the warrior princess' butt as much as finding out that Ares-- who still believes that Baby Eve died for real-- has become both mentor and implied lover to Livia. Livia considers Rome itself her only "mother," having never been told of her mortal sire, so when Xena reveals the truth, Livia reacts with scandalized hatred-- and for a bonus, Ares figures out that his new squeeze is Eve, Doom of the Gods. Mother and daughter battle in the Colosseum, but though Livia is spared by both Xena and the citizens of Rome, she vows undying hatred of the warrior princess.

EVE (G)-- Forget the struggles of Livia/Eve; the standout event here is Xena's daughter finally kills someone Xena and Gabrielle actually care about. Due to traveling with Xena's group, Joxer becomes embarrassed by his ineptitude and leaves himself open to being slain by none other than Livia. But before that big moment, Ares, having been rejected by Xena once again, encourages Livia to kill her mother. For Xena's part, she's all but convinced that Livia is beyond recovery, though she prays to Eli for guidance. With the help of some Roman allies, Xena sets a trap for Livia and her soldiers. When Xena conquers Livia, she pauses before the final stroke and implores the aid of Eli once more. Whatever power is behind Eli gives Livia her own personal "road to Damascus" moment, and she sees the evil of her entire life, effectively transforming corrupted Livia back into innocent Eve. Virgil takes his father's body back home.

MOTHERHOOD (F)-- It's "Twilight of the Gods" in overdrive, as Eve seeks redemption from a prominent Eli follower, "The Baptist." Somehow this redemptive power also confers on Xena the power to kill gods, which will come in handy throughout Season Six. Athena mounts a sneak attack, sending the invisible Furies to seduce Gabrielle into killing Eve. (The Furies also show Gabby visions of Joxer and Hope.) Eve tries to make amends to Virgil, but he rejects her. The plot is partly successful, though Xena has to severely wound Gabrielle to prevent Eve's slaying. Four gods show up to attack Xena and Eve, but Xena kills two and the others retreat. Aphrodite appears, but cannot help dying Gabrielle without the blessing of Athena. She transports Xena, the wounded Eve and the dying Gabrielle to Olympus, where the warrior princess seeks to make a deal with Athena, though Xena's in danger of losing her power to kill gods if Eve dies of her wound. The writers then blatantly contradict Aphrodite's testimony, that only Athena can bring healing, by having lovelorn Ares heal both Eve and Gabrielle, making it possible for Xena to slay Athena. (They throw in a weak excuse that Ares can only do this deed by giving up his immortality, which gives him an excuse to dodge the Gotterdammerung and to hang around through Season Six.)

While it's too early for a series overview, I have to say that this season places the show-runners very much in the mode of Gabrielle in THE PLAY'S THE THING. They have the characters make lots of speeches about the importance of "letting go" and extending mercy, while finding lots of excuses to unleash crowd-pleasing mayhem (this time, expressly aligned with a fictional version of the Judeo-Christian religion).

MERLIN AND THE WAR OF THE DRAGONS (2008)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

I only glanced at a couple of IMDB reviews while checking specs on ths film's personnel, but I saw enough to make me wonder if any of those reviewers have ever seen a really bad movie. This DTV flick with the long-winded title-- henceforth abbreviated to WAR-- is just a competent but unexceptional formula effort, with decent if not exceptional performances. WAR's main point of interest is that it chooses to mine the Arthurian mythos at a point most such movies don't focus upon: the period during which Merlin was schooled in magic by a perceptor, and first gained access to the sword Excalibur, later to be bestowed upon Arthur.

In a 12th-century poem, it's established that Merlin was born of a mortal woman by her intercourse with an incubus, and later tutored in magic by a wizard named Blaise. WAR opens with the same basic  situation. Rather than allowing Baby Merlin to be slain as demon-spawn, a wizard known only as "The Mage" (Jurgen Prochnow) adopts the child, and the infant is next seen as Teen Merlin (Simon Lloyd-Roberts). However, The Mage also adopts a second orphan, Vendiger (Joseph Stacey), and so the two orphans grow up as virtual brothers. Not surprisingly, the introduction of Vendiger supplies the movie with its villain, the bad seed who doesn't honor his adoptive father's teachings. He also lures Merlin into reading from their adoptive dad's magical book, and this sets up most of the future magical occurrences, including the titular "war of the dragons."

The Romans have recently withdrawn from Britain, so dozens of petty chieftains are vying for power, though we only see two, noble Vortigern (whose army includes the future father of Arthur, Uther Pendragon) and ignoble Hengest. (We also barely see much in the way of armies; it looks like both warlords have about ten soldiers under their respective commands.) Vendiger allies himself to Hengest, and displays his stolen magical spells by conjuring up a dragon with which to fight Vortigern.

The Mage backs Vortigern, but he also needs an edge, and that's Excalibur. He sends Teen Merlin to the sacred lake, where dwell two magical sisters, Nimue and Viviane. Both names occur in Arthurian lore, often as variant names for either the Lady of the Lake or a sorceress who beguiles Merlin. The Mage cautions Merlin, who is half-god, not to fall into the clutches of the fairy-folk. The young magus receives some ambiguous attentions from both sisters (who are, to be sure, the weakest actors in the movie), but no real threat manifests, and Merlin fetches Excalibur back to the battle front. In the meantime, though, Evil Vendiger kills The Mage, though he lives long enough to charge Merlin with stopping his bad brother for good. 

The dragons look OK, but they don't really have a big impact on the story, which is really just about a Good Father, His Good Son, and His Bad Son. There's a very short scene with a female warrior who talks with Teen Merlin a bit, but no romantic arc appears either. Prochnow endows The Mage with a good gravitas despite the simplistic character.